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Post by gpjohn on May 10, 2011 7:03:49 GMT -6
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Post by C5_96 on May 10, 2011 10:14:51 GMT -6
Greatest newscast ever ;D That was hilarious! ;D
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Post by gpjohn on May 10, 2011 12:20:34 GMT -6
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Post by FB fan on May 12, 2011 8:40:17 GMT -6
Did your Mother ever hit you with one of these?
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -- I just finished cleaning!"
2. My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why!"
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
6. My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."
7. My mother taught me about OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
11. My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS: "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times -- don't exaggerate!!!"
13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
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Post by CC_Varmints on May 12, 2011 8:50:25 GMT -6
Materialism
A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door.
Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!"
"OH, MY GOD!!!" screamed the lawyer.
"My Rolex !!!!β
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Post by gpjohn on May 17, 2011 14:57:47 GMT -6
How to tell who loves you more, your dog or your wife: Lock them both in the trunk of your car for a couple of hours. then let them out and judge for yourself their reaction
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Post by 278ibewfb on May 17, 2011 15:45:25 GMT -6
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Post by 278ibewfb on May 19, 2011 8:10:54 GMT -6
for the young at heart i used to spend time at my grandfathers house on sundays and watch silent movies. man i was young.
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Post by CC_Varmints on May 19, 2011 9:10:54 GMT -6
Greatest Marriage Proposal Ever! This guy has raised the bar above the marriage proposal on the giant screen at a sports stadium.
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Post by 278ibewfb on May 19, 2011 9:18:09 GMT -6
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Post by Clemensbuff on May 19, 2011 12:22:04 GMT -6
Something tells me it is probably BS on the size and record but still a whopper spec! Headed down to Kingsville tomorrow to fish Baffin on Saturday with a vendor of mine. I am fired up about it I'll tell you that!
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Post by Clemensbuff on May 19, 2011 12:31:38 GMT -6
Greatest Marriage Proposal Ever! This guy has raised the bar above the marriage proposal on the giant screen at a sports stadium. I am not a very lovy dovy guy but that was great. I really like the action of the black guy in the upper right hand corner at about the 5:40 mark. He's like.........get this cheesy crap over with and start the flick! LMAO Good stuff here!
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Post by 278ibewfb on May 19, 2011 13:06:06 GMT -6
Something tells me it is probably BS on the size and record but still a whopper spec! Headed down to Kingsville tomorrow to fish Baffin on Saturday with a vendor of mine. I am fired up about it I'll tell you that! i thought the same but from all the skuttle butt that its legit. we are fishing a tourny saturday but with the projected wind speeds i will be laying low, doing a little wade fishing around deadmans and boathole also hit the north side of packery jetties. good luck this weekend and be careful in baffin it could get rough.
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Post by gpjohn on May 19, 2011 13:48:32 GMT -6
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Post by CC_Varmints on May 19, 2011 14:31:52 GMT -6
Up to $10 G's now for the Hoodie and Sunglasses. I can see Hard Rock Cafe or some Restaurant buying those. The handwritten TJK Manifesto is over $15 G's. Those are the two hot items in the 58 lot auction. TJK Harvard and Michigan Diplomas are over $4 G's.
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